How every MLB team will tank their seasons, break fans’ hearts

Happy Opening Day!
Image: Getty Images

You can all give up the Rogers Hornsby quotes, already. We made it Opening Day, when hope springs eternal for millions of MLB fans across the country, a least for a few days/weeks. We’d all love to believe that our team has as much of a chance of winning the World Series as any other but, realistically, that’s completely untrue. Some of these teams have a slight chance of doing… something. But many of these teams have no chance of doing anything, and it’s better you know that now and begin the aching, laborious process of acceptance, rather than bothering with denial and bargaining and whatever all those other stages are.

With that in mind, here are the ways every MLB team will sabotage their own success and break their fans’ hearts this season.

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